Category Archives: Uncategorized

Creating

A lot of not great things have been going down in my life, all I can say is change is hard. That I can just continue on and hope for the best results.

There have been good things as well. Victor is enjoying school. Or rather you know not hating it. Hes in 4th grade now so they will be steping up the work load, not that im worried about that. He has a solid summer homeschool agenda so he wont be behind any one else. If anything he will be ahead and I just have to supplement the things they teach the kids. He is also taking more of a responsible role in his self care. Picking out his clothing and preparing himself in the morning to start the day. Im keeping his hair short so its not a hassle for him in the mornings.

I have a bunch of books for him to read through as well, just one more thing on a list of things.

My job has changed my schedule again, but its way better. So instead of getting out of work at 6:30pm I will be getting out at 3. I still will have off Fridays and Saturdays. Frankly that’s good cause I can do the parent teacher thing and run errands when I need to. It also gives me a chance to do house cleaning without the worry of having him underfoot. Hell I , might be able to take a trip over a long weekend.

I got to talk to my aunt yeaterday which is always an experience. She filled me in on the family gossip. So you understand I have a very large family and I don’t really talk to anyone. Its not that I don’t love them, its more like they dont understand me. Minus my sister, my aunt and a few cousins.

Its like we come from different worlds. In my dealings with them I have always been about 75% myself. They except that sometimes. Its almost like haveing multi personqlities. Im going to say the friends ive made online know me way better. I can be my goofy weird self and its ok. I have spoken to a lot of really kind people, pretty much all of them married with families. Is it wrong to say I used to get jelous of them and the lives they lead? I know it seems weird, l would never want that to change though. Even if I end up the crazy loner in real life at least its positive human interactions.


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Want

Afropunk-Street-Style-2015jk

GODS

I think Blue hair is so super pretty, I especially like the texture which is similar to mine. Sadly I a to afraid to strip my hair down to be able to do this. Looking at my hair right now I have enough gray that it just MIGHT work….lol

BLAUGUST REBORN

 

Well it’s that time of year again – when I try my darndest to blog for the month of august and hopefully won’t fail. I read about it here http://aggronaut.com/2018/07/09/blaugust-reborn/ I have to say I try my best. I’m hoping you all will enjoy it…

My Experience With Second Life So Far

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Second Life is an online virtual world, the game has been out since 2003. Now I had heard about it for a while – but it was one of those things that sort of lingered around the edge for me. I thought it was going to be like the Sims, but its not really. What got me to jump into it was I saw a number of really pretty pictures online. At first I thought they were stand alone 3D images you know like.. “I spent hours drawing this by hand” type situations. It was later I found out they were actually screen shots. I was hooked, I went to their website and joined.

Joining is free, just so you know – but there was a LOT of information and windows and what not when you log in for the first time.There is a tutorial, but even after 3hrs of walking around the starter zone I still felt lost and not sure of what I was doing.

So I started reading up, trying to find my way around. I found a LOT of youtube videos. Some of them were talking about giveaways and free things. That you had to go to the stores location to get….alas I was lost. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how to get to the place. Then after figuring it out (kinda), I didn’t know what to do with the information. Sometimes I did sort of blunder through it – only to realize I didn’t actually have the thing I needed to use it.

Mesh heads, and bento and WHAT???? Sometimes I would see other players, but I was to nervous to ask for help. I found this island by accident and it was really beautiful – but I couldn’t find anyone else. No one to talk to….which in a way is fine.

I also had a problem with walking and using the camera – I kept walking backwards and sometimes even walking in a circle. I tried flying thinking maybe that would be easier. But….. if you don’t know how to land – well there is only one way to land but I want to be a bit more graceful then a rock falling out of the sky.

I’ve also come to realize owning a second life house is not something I’m going to be able to do any time soon. Not that I thought I really would be able to of course.

My avatar is not bu any means ugly – she has a weird thing going on with the back of her legs….but there were so many cute things. I’m trying to stay positive about the whole situation……

OH and TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY……woot woooooooooooooooo

 

Dam my Eyes

Ok…ok – LIFE is the answer to not blogging. WELL, not just that. I kinda was feeling like I didn’t have a lot to talk about. Then when I would log in to write something my little hamster brain would just blank out.

So, I’m NOT going to make any promises, cause if I don’t come through I’m going to be super pissy with myself.

ANYWAYS Elder Scrolls Online – I want to still be excited about this, but I’m sorta not so super excited about it. I mean I log in to do the regular scheduled stuff with my guilds, but i’m just not inspired to like THROW myself at it like I used to. Summerset is coming out and I’m like “shrug” whatever…there are a lot of really great videos and blogs that talk about that stuff all over the internet. I am not really one of them.

I did get the Dark Brotherhood cave – I saved my pennies to do it. But I went in there like 4 or 5 times and that’s it. I realized it’s because the music is not so great. I want to get the palace that’s going to be gone soon – but it will cost me $40. I realized as much as I love it. I’m not really IN LOVE with it. So I’m going to save my crowns for now.

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Dam its dark in here

When I do log in I go to PvP land. I’m getting better I think, not as squishie but still dying. I’m still learning new things everyday and I kinda feel like if I keep going who knows what can happen.

I started the Imperial City quest line which, is like, HARD. But I found out they have teleport shard things to take you back to base so you don’t loose your Tel Var.

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Rocking Out in the Sewers 

 

I tried to go back to Guild Wars 2 – but that was actually worst. I didn’t know anything and didn’t have any friends and didn’t want to start over. They have flying mounts, which is cool but since I didn’t buy the update I don’t have one. Hater going to Hate for sure.

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So I figured maybe I should – you know – go outside. Not that I had a choice since I have been working a lot of CRAZY hours. It was nice…..for like a minute – sadly it’s spring which means. Yes the weather is nice, but I can’t breath because of the pollen. Cause I’M allergic to freakin’ trees.

 

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I’m outside – now dazzle me

Anyway, that’s about all for now. It’s my birthday on Sunday, i’m not overly excited but you know adulting and what not.

 

A

So I put a little thought into what this would be and it hit me. My A word is admitting. So I’m letting you guys in so you can know a personal truth about me (saw what I did there? – zing)

The truth is I feel like a fraud a large amount of the time. Let me explain, a few weeks ago I was talking to a dear friend of mine who is also a writer – they were not feeling up to par with their skills. I told them that was silly, that their writing was actually amazing and it would be sad if they stopped. That were all pretty much monkeys banging a type writer waiting for War and Peace.

When I was very much a little bunny all I wanted to do was write and I did. Every day – some of it good lots of it crap. At 11 I entered a poetry contest and won, getting to read my poem in front of an assembly. It was very scary – I don’t have a copy of that poem any more. Wish I could find it though.

Then hits the teen years, my writing got darker, my poetry took a REALLY weird bend. But its fine we all go through that. But STILL I wrote everyday. I had a lot inside that I needed to get out.

After 18 it seemed to not happen as much, I focused on other things – not just boys mind you but other STUFF. I started painting (I have since stopped that) I also do beading and other such things.

I notice that I am more often looking into myself and trying to figure out what is going on with me. I still read a ton but not writing as much. I jot things down and get about 1,000 words into it – then blank. So I find myself gazing into space trying to figure out WHAT I was trying to write. So I did what I often do and changed mediums – I try a few lines of poetry or do some bead work or read or get sucked into Pinterest.

Recently, I have been looking into Roleplaying – not in the naughty way (lol) but online. Which still sounds bad – ok I play both Elder Scrolls online and GW2 (I’ve mentioned both before). My computer has since died and I’m building a new one. Now THAT’S something I should write about, anyway I’m still waiting for one part to arrive so I haven’t been able to play ESO and it’s KILLING me. It’s like an addiction and I’ve gone cold turkey. I still interact with some of my game friends through Discord (hmm maybe that’s my D word – lol) but I have been hesitant to really get into it as I don’t know really how. I haven’t done it for a long time now, but another reason is because my characters back stories aren’t finished. As they were more or less growing through game play – or rather the idea of their back stories.

So that has stalled – and I’m finding myself getting more mad and more depressed about it. The worst is I can’t really explain how I feel because I don’t honestly know. I want to do these things and I want to get them out but it seems like I’m falling into bad habits.

Then comes the bad part – I only get so many hours in a day. My mornings are getting my son and I ready to go out, him to school and me to work. Then I’m at work and it’s 8 hrs of…well work. Sometimes my mind can wander but not often. I get out of work and ave maybe 10 minutes then I have to get him off the school bus. Which starts the after work Mom mode. Homework, inter-action, trying to get him to read to me, not being stuck in front of the tv or computer. All of these things easy to get sucked into.

When the weekends come I work on Sundays – so Saturday is my only day. I get up at 7 am and usually do laundry, walk the dog than veg for the rest of the day. I’m not enjoying my life right now. That is something I can admit 100%.

UPDATES

So in order for me to have things to write about I actually have to do the things…lol. I have been spending a LARGE amount of my time playing ESO  – and loving and hating it at the same time.

I didn’t actually write anything about it mainly because all I was doing was grinding to save gold to get the house…I’ll write about that later.

With Homestead there are blueprints and such that you can learn to make furniture – have been grinding that too or maybe at the same time???? Anyway there are some nice things out there – I am trying to make a list of what I can make and the mats you need.

Achievement based housing items…..wish list?

My wonderful Guilds Lone Wolf Help and Royal Bank of Tamriel……both are awesome.

PvP stuff – cool but scary but cool.

UHH lost most of the time……

My FIRST successful dungeon run with less then 20 people lol ^_^

To many alts can be confusing – lol

OK I think this is a pretty short list of the things I want to write about. Which I will have to jump on