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Everything Feels Groovy

Ok so combing e,f and g in one post could be seen as cheating, but I fell behind so whatever’s.

The truth is I have spent a lot of time reading and dealing with migraines that I seem to be getting more of now that the weather is changing. It’s not fun, but it’s ok.

The last book I just finished is Apocalypse Cow…It received the Terry Pratchett award so I figured it had to be good. If you haven’t go get a copy right now. The main concept is that people are trying to survive a zombie outbreak, but instead of it being people it’s cows. Or rather it starts with cows and moves into other animals.

You follow a few different characters who end up together at one point. It’s such an easy read and you get sucked in rather quickly. i realize I’m not very good at writing book reviews, something I’ll have to work on I guess.

I have also been trying to work out this game withdrawel. I have tried a number of times to sit at the computer and maybe play a different game but nothing has really peeked my interest. I played GW2 for about ten minutes then logged out. I am very behind on the story and was overwhelmed by the amount of things I still had to do. Add that there is no one for me to talk to while I play makes it even less appealing.

I mentioned once that I was working on my RPing characters, but nothing new has really come of that either. Mostly just watching YouTube videos.

I have made a few pairs of earrings, but my work space is small so it’s hard to sit there for any amount of time. I’m not very inspired, which sucks as it was a stress release.

So the question is what does one do to kick start themselves?

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A

So I put a little thought into what this would be and it hit me. My A word is admitting. So I’m letting you guys in so you can know a personal truth about me (saw what I did there? – zing)

The truth is I feel like a fraud a large amount of the time. Let me explain, a few weeks ago I was talking to a dear friend of mine who is also a writer – they were not feeling up to par with their skills. I told them that was silly, that their writing was actually amazing and it would be sad if they stopped. That were all pretty much monkeys banging a type writer waiting for War and Peace.

When I was very much a little bunny all I wanted to do was write and I did. Every day – some of it good lots of it crap. At 11 I entered a poetry contest and won, getting to read my poem in front of an assembly. It was very scary – I don’t have a copy of that poem any more. Wish I could find it though.

Then hits the teen years, my writing got darker, my poetry took a REALLY weird bend. But its fine we all go through that. But STILL I wrote everyday. I had a lot inside that I needed to get out.

After 18 it seemed to not happen as much, I focused on other things – not just boys mind you but other STUFF. I started painting (I have since stopped that) I also do beading and other such things.

I notice that I am more often looking into myself and trying to figure out what is going on with me. I still read a ton but not writing as much. I jot things down and get about 1,000 words into it – then blank. So I find myself gazing into space trying to figure out WHAT I was trying to write. So I did what I often do and changed mediums – I try a few lines of poetry or do some bead work or read or get sucked into Pinterest.

Recently, I have been looking into Roleplaying – not in the naughty way (lol) but online. Which still sounds bad – ok I play both Elder Scrolls online and GW2 (I’ve mentioned both before). My computer has since died and I’m building a new one. Now THAT’S something I should write about, anyway I’m still waiting for one part to arrive so I haven’t been able to play ESO and it’s KILLING me. It’s like an addiction and I’ve gone cold turkey. I still interact with some of my game friends through Discord (hmm maybe that’s my D word – lol) but I have been hesitant to really get into it as I don’t know really how. I haven’t done it for a long time now, but another reason is because my characters back stories aren’t finished. As they were more or less growing through game play – or rather the idea of their back stories.

So that has stalled – and I’m finding myself getting more mad and more depressed about it. The worst is I can’t really explain how I feel because I don’t honestly know. I want to do these things and I want to get them out but it seems like I’m falling into bad habits.

Then comes the bad part – I only get so many hours in a day. My mornings are getting my son and I ready to go out, him to school and me to work. Then I’m at work and it’s 8 hrs of…well work. Sometimes my mind can wander but not often. I get out of work and ave maybe 10 minutes then I have to get him off the school bus. Which starts the after work Mom mode. Homework, inter-action, trying to get him to read to me, not being stuck in front of the tv or computer. All of these things easy to get sucked into.

When the weekends come I work on Sundays – so Saturday is my only day. I get up at 7 am and usually do laundry, walk the dog than veg for the rest of the day. I’m not enjoying my life right now. That is something I can admit 100%.

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UPDATES

So in order for me to have things to write about I actually have to do the things…lol. I have been spending a LARGE amount of my time playing ESO  – and loving and hating it at the same time.

I didn’t actually write anything about it mainly because all I was doing was grinding to save gold to get the house…I’ll write about that later.

With Homestead there are blueprints and such that you can learn to make furniture – have been grinding that too or maybe at the same time???? Anyway there are some nice things out there – I am trying to make a list of what I can make and the mats you need.

Achievement based housing items…..wish list?

My wonderful Guilds Lone Wolf Help and Royal Bank of Tamriel……both are awesome.

PvP stuff – cool but scary but cool.

UHH lost most of the time……

My FIRST successful dungeon run with less then 20 people lol ^_^

To many alts can be confusing – lol

OK I think this is a pretty short list of the things I want to write about. Which I will have to jump on

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Busy Bee

HELLOOOOOO every bunny. I want to say life has been busy and that is why I haven’t written anything; but that would be a lie. And I feel we are at a point in our relationship where I don’t need to lie to you…hahaha.

Firstly I have been working, covering shifts at work for people. I don’t mind so much, if a coworker needs help I do what I can. It’s not always about the money at all. Work is work – it’s what I have to do in order to do what I want to do. Sometimes the hours are very long, so I have taken to napping when I get home. Somewhere between 20 minutes to 3 hours. It is needed for sure, naps are wasted on the young in my opinion.

Secondly, as EVERYONE in the world know politics….keeping informed as much as I can -but knowing when to disconnect.

What have I been doing? Well let me tell you, I have been doing the things in Elder Scrolls Online. Now I started this blog GUSHING about Guild Wars 2 – which I am still playing. The truth of the matter is I have been living the ESOlife. Everyday (almost) I hop on and play for a bit, a bit of course meaning 3-4 hrs. So be prepared to be a wash in ESO stuff.

There are so many new things to do and old things as well. New people to meet and well old people to refresh as well. I’ve sort of kinda have a list together of what I want to write about.

 

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SO stay tooned…..

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I missed Blaugust

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OK so I had FULL intentions to do Blaugust…..I really really really did. Life of course decided it would not actually be that way.

I think I wanted more followers, then realized that I would actually have to write things got people to have to read. So its a win/win lose/lose.

BUT it’s not really a super bad thing as I am going outside my comfort zone and deciding that I am going to go for something I would never even think of not that long ago.

So my sister sent me some info about a grant program, that is for $6,000. Now that’s not chump change. It would actually be able to use that money to help me to get my more artish side bumped up.

There are a few classes I would like very much to take and I could pay a bill or two (they aren’t really that high to begin with – lol). I would also be able to take not one but two vacations.

Nothing fancy mind you. I would LOVE to go to the Smithsonian – I have always wanted to go and I have been interested in seeing Canada for some reason.

So I have a lot of work I need to do and it hasn’t been easy but I am really going for it. Even if I don’t win the big money at least I can say that I tried and maybe it will lead me to something else. Fingers crossed…..

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Plugging along

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Being an adult is not as fun and exciting as most people would think (and by people I mean those under a certain age). I have been working my butt off, not just in my regular day to day job – but also in my beading art thing. It takes up a lot of hours.

The last 3 weeks I have hit a wall, I’m not inspired to make anything or even to talk to anyone if I can help it. Although I had ideas of things I maybe wanted to blog about nothing would come out. NOW add on a heatwave and I have no AC. I have been lucky in that I have fans that can blow the hot air around – yeah for me. I get sick when I over heat and can have really bad migraines.

I am also a very silly person in that I neither eat nor drink enough. So these past few days have been me getting up super early to do laundry at the laundry mat and going to the grocery store and walking the dog before it becomes to much to take.

I realize by the time I have enough money for an AC unit it will most likely be winter….hahaha.

Anyway since I was siting home and didn’t feel like doing anything creative I decided to play Guild Wars 2. Now I used to actually have a few friends who I played with. One girl went on vacation for the WHOLE summer – must be nice. Another I haven’t spoken to in like 5 months. SO I have been going it alone. I like to be social when I play and in all honesty it can be a bit lonely not having anyone to talk to. I am working on fixing that.

If your playing the game too then you know there has been another Living Story added. I haven’t finished the current one I’m on yet, so I figured I should just plow through that.

I very much have NO idea what the hell I’m doing. I’ve been running around trying to figure out how to get to the hero points and mastery points. It’s not really going all that well for me on that regard. I’m happy to say though that I have finally unlocked bouncing mushrooms and updraft ^_^.

I have also seen other parts of Orr that I hadn’t with my other character – I always like new places. So once I’m finished with the Living Story I’m on now I can go ahead and do the other newer one. I took some screen shots but of course don’t have access to them now.

Figured I would share – hope your all staying cool in this killer heat……

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Heresay

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People talk shit…it is simply a fact of life. Someone will always talk about you – if your doing good or bad or even not doing anything at all.

I find that you can build a lot of assumptions about a person this way. People tent to gossip about the negative and not so much the positive things people are doing. Misery loves company. Unhappy people tend to like being around other unhappy people.

I know there are people talking crap about me – I have heard people talk crap, although they may not have known that I knew. So what do you do?

Once I would have confronted the person directly. I don’t like people saying I said something I didn’t. Now I have changed. I simply back away…does this add to my personal happiness – sometimes. Sometimes it doesn’t. There are people I want to talk to, but I don’t. I miss them a lot and hope someday to be able to reconnect.

And you heard that from me.

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D is for Dead Frontier

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OH MY BLOB..is she actually going to write about a video game….yes..yes I am. The game is called Dead Frontier and I was very much hooked on this game for about 2 years. It was one of the first games I actually got a subscription for. Which of course has since lapsed, but I still play it off and on.

Dead Frontier is a free-to-play, browser-based MMOG which takes place in a post-apocalyptic, zombie-infested setting.

You pretty much give your email, make an account and boom your in. You get the option to make a character, now the options are super limited – but thats fine. Certain avatars have stats and money already or not.

It’s a top down view – the graphics are good for a browser game for sure. There are cycles of night and day.  So the background story is pretty basic – big corporation unleashes virus known as N-4, people get infected (All of this taking place in the Summer of 2016, sooooo yeah seeing how the world is doing right now I kinda wouldn’t be surprised at this point) – where the game play starts this has been going on for a while already.

It’s pretty much do what you like – they do offer missions if you want to take them where you are rewarded in some money. Looting is a good way to get supplies and money as well. The zombies start as regular ones and they just get bigger and harder in different zones. (Personally I was not all that good with the dogs. ) There are 5 Safe zones or Outposts. You start at Nastya’s Holdout – thats the beginners area. Don’t be fooled, yeah its for beginners but it can get crazy when a swarn comes. When I first started playing you couldn’t go into any houses and a few larger buildings – but that has since changed.

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Some of the zombies – they gross looking

A large amount of my DF time was spent either being on the Forums or the Market place. The Market place is an area where you could sell or buy stuff ( sorry I know thats a derp statement).. Now when I usually start playing a new game I do a lot of research, watching youtube videos, reading reviews – in all honesty I didn’t really follow any of that.

I’m not good with stats and numbers and what have you – never have been. But I did actually pay a bit of attention in this game.I knew I was never going to get the best of the best of the best – but hey thats cool. All I know for sure was I wanted a P90 machine gun….my god I was in heaven. But of course that raises aggro and there are somethings that go bump in the night that you don’t want to deal with. SO it sometimes came down to close combat – which usually had me with either a Bowie/Kitchen knife and a Luger.

Now the gun raises aggro so you have to be careful when you use it – I have tried lots of different combos – I prefered double knives…..SO if you get a chance check it out for sure.

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C is for Color

Dang – I think I’m getting worst at this – but hey its cool…I’m still here.

Our “C” word is color. The world is full of different color combinations (Unless your color blind – but even then you can sometimes see some colors). The reason we are able to see color is because we perceive only the reflected colors.

Colors can be used to organize things, to invoke a feeling and even to describe an emotional response:

“The woman’s face flushed pink at the excitement of the moment…”

“My despair is black as pitch – no light enters this cold dead place…”

“The jungle glistened after the rain. Large gray storm clouds hugged the hill-top, while trees with emerald and lime leaves waved in the wind…”

But the word “Colored” was once used as a derogatory term towards African Americans:

“We don’t serve colored here…”

 

Colors can be complimentary – which means they are pairs of colors which, when combined, cancel each other out. This means that when combined, they produce a grey-scale color like white or black. When placed next to each other, they create the strongest contrast for those particular two colors.

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Each color has a basic meaning:

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These are examples of course – and different people may have a different idea of what color symbolises what. Like in Asian culture when a woman got married she would wear Red for luck and not white (which is a color of moarning). Although of course that is changing due to Western influence.

The use of color is a HUGE subject – which I am no expert at. It is amazing why it can be applied to…therapy, religion, magic…you could spend a lifetime trying to learn about it and not even get a percentage of its significance.

OK Im keeping this one short – its funny I write way longer posts then I actually post…might be why Im so behind..yikes

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Better late then never….

OK this time I don’t have a good excuse – well that’s not true I had to finish the Outsiders season 1. It’s also Monday here – which means yesterday was the season finale of The Walking Dead…..could not miss that.

I know, I know I should just write these out earlier and put them on a timer or something – but I can’t seem to write that way. I mean maybe one or two sentences but then I get stuck. Better to sit and bang it out and be done.

The letter of the day is B….and it was not as hard this time to think of the things I wanted to write about. First is my BOYS, I have two of them one is almost 7 and the other is 18. As much as they are different they are the same and I love them LOTS.

Both of them learn differently then other kids and frankly that’s fine. Yes it is a lot more work on my part – but it is worth it. Honestly I have moments, you know the am I being a good parent? I don’t shower them with toys – but they are allowed a lot of books since education is super important to me. Well I try not to dwell on it.

Something I find so super cute is they place games same as me too. They make the same sounds and complaints and running dialogue I do. They speaks in the same manner and similar sense of humor. The younger one has a very outgoing personality, I’m not sure if he will stay that way – but I hope so.

 

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