Category Archives: Uncategorized

The World Is A Shit Show

So things have been going on as of late. So they may be closing my job down by the end of August. Which now there still has been no word if this will actually happen. so I’m trying to plan things accordingly.

Sometimes it feels like everything is going well but then things poop all over you. I have been striving for happiness. I have been feeling very positive and working to make myself a more whole and spiritual person. I spent a full day working on pieces that I hadn’t had time to do. I was and am feeling good.

Yesterday for no reason at all my shoulder started to hurt. It may be a pinched nerve or just a low ache. So I first thought maybe I was having a heart attack. Its something that apparently happens. I took an aspirin and  although the pain went away it still hurts. If that makes any sense at all – lol. Now I’m still aching, it still hurts and im thinking its because of the way I sit at the computer and the way I sit on the bed when I craft stuff. Add on the way I sleep, so many things it COULD be.

ORRRRRRRRRRRRR it could just be stress. The thing is this – sometimes we want to live our lives a certain way. Sometimes we want to put ourselves where we want to be – but we also cock block ourselves. We stop ourselves from growing, we lock ourselves into these places where we are trapped and can’t get out.

For the past few months I have been letting myself grow, I have been opening myself up for change because I knew it had to happen. BUT when we open ourselves to change the Universe is gonna change us. Sometimes in big ways sometimes in small – but its gonna happen.

So changes are happening and I’m in this wave of events. I’m not going with sink or swim any more – im going with high and dry.


I have been working on a lot of other things. I stopped streaming for 2 months because I was feeling discouraged – not by streaming but by my computer which was being a turd. I am also very physically tired.

A lot of things I have no control over have been happening and I’m dealing. Not gonna go into details but it is what it is. I have had a lot of positive stuff happen and some not so positive. Such is life right?

I’m trying my hand at focusing more I think I can do it.

Whelp that’s whats going down. Thank you for keeping up with me on this whatever it is im on right now lol


p.s. gonna try for once a week posting I think that will work better for me ^_^

Oh Hello Again

Yup it’s me – you know its me cause your following this blog…of mine….derp. Well life has been a journey of adulting. Working, dealing with snow, helping the Boy. He is in a special education program and he is being moved to the regular class next year. So what has been happening is he has been going into the bigger class for a couple of hours. He is ahead of his peers in math and he HATES to write. I mean he will do it, he just hates it. So I have been trying to help him foster that side of himself. I’m thinking of trying a voice to text program for him – not sure yet.

I have been playing ESO – I did the recent event. But a lot of my time has been helping a friend get his guild hall together. I don’t mind, but it’s a grind. I’ve also decided I want to actually finish dungeons with my main toon. So I’ve been doing those as well. I have the Hunters Glade house and have done nothing with it as of yet – still looking for Murkmire platforms and ramps. I had a realization the other day that I was actually soloing things with her – which is AMAZING.

This is my blog – there are many like it but this one is mine. There are other things I want to write about but not sure if I should put it all in one place.

*Looks Around*

Are you people still here? That’s cool thanks for staying around – LoL. So what’s been going on? Well I have been working a CRAZY amount, mainly because 2 people left and now I’m training the replacement. Mainly it’s starting early and leaving late, when I get home I feel dog tired. I nap about 30 minutes everyday when I get home.

Looking at myself in the mirror this morning I realized I have a LOT of gray hair. I mean I KNOW that in theory, but when you’re feeling drained it’s like everything sucks ass. I haven’t colored my hair in about 6 months, it was a nice blue. I was thinking about going back to black hair but it makes me looked so drained because of my undertone. Usually I do a lot of reds. I was kinda thinking of doing pink – but everyone seems to do that. I’ve been turning the idea around to go full gray – is that weird?

I don’t actually think these posts through – so the tiredness is getting the best of me. Don’t give up on me guys – promise I will pick it up better when I get some more sleep.


A lot of not great things have been going down in my life, all I can say is change is hard. That I can just continue on and hope for the best results.

There have been good things as well. Victor is enjoying school. Or rather you know not hating it. Hes in 4th grade now so they will be stepping up the work load, not that im worried about that. He has a solid summer homeschool agenda so he wont be behind any one else. If anything he will be ahead and I just have to supplement the things they teach the kids. He is also taking more of a responsible role in his self care. Picking out his clothing and preparing himself in the morning to start the day. Im keeping his hair short so its not a hassle for him in the mornings.

I have a bunch of books for him to read through as well, just one more thing on a list of things.

My job has changed my schedule again, but its way better. So instead of getting out of work at 6:30pm I will be getting out at 3. I still will have off Fridays and Saturdays. Frankly that’s good cause I can do the parent teacher thing and run errands when I need to. It also gives me a chance to do house cleaning without the worry of having him underfoot. Hell I , might be able to take a trip over a long weekend.

I got to talk to my aunt yeaterday which is always an experience. She filled me in on the family gossip. So you understand I have a very large family and I don’t really talk to anyone. Its not that I don’t love them, its more like they don’t understand me. Minus my sister, my aunt and a few cousins.

Its like we come from different worlds. In my dealings with them I have always been about 75% myself. They except that sometimes. Its almost like having multi personalities. I’m going to say the friends i’ve made online know me way better. I can be my goofy weird self and its ok. I have spoken to a lot of really kind people, pretty much all of them married with families. Is it wrong to say I used to get jelly of them and the lives they lead? I know it seems weird, l would never want that to change though. Even if I end up the crazy loner in real life at least its positive human interactions.




I think Blue hair is so super pretty, I especially like the texture which is similar to mine. Sadly I a to afraid to strip my hair down to be able to do this. Looking at my hair right now I have enough gray that it just MIGHT work….lol



Well it’s that time of year again – when I try my darndest to blog for the month of august and hopefully won’t fail. I read about it here I have to say I try my best. I’m hoping you all will enjoy it…