Category Archives: What am I talking about?

Life Update

Hey everyone – I hope life is finding you well enough to do the things that need doing. For me I am progressing in a forward motion, that’s good right? I am still working way more hours then I would like – but that’s how I pay the bills.

I stopped streaming for about 3 months – I didn’t want it to go that far but it did. Last week I decided to jump back into the pool. I streamed on Friday & twice on Saturday – I figured they were my 2 days off so I could really focus on what I wanted to do. It was fun – I’m actually happy that I decided to do it again. I even got my audio stuff together (I was having an issue with volume control). I cried a bit on Saturdays stream because I got 5 subscribers, I know it doesn’t seem like a lot, but considering I only had 1 a while ago it was still a nice thing. So you know what that means? Working on badges, lucky for me I  have ideas on what to do for that. I also streamed for an hour last night, I figured if I’m gonna play maybe someone will like to watch me play. I still don’t have a camera yet, I have been told I should get one. Right now I stream in my living room since that’s where the computer is. But I have a walk in closet that is just storage right now, the plan this week is to get it cleared out and move everything into there. That way if I’m loud I’m not disturbing anyone else in the house. If you want come by and watch me try and relearn like every THING. 

I have also started on a new path in regards to jewelry making – as in now i’m using resins to not only make pieces, but to also give a more finished look to pieces I have done already. I know it sounds like I have my hands in a lot of pots, because in a way I guess I do. It’s all part of being on this path to being a more true version of myself.

Earrings

A bit of a fuzzy picture – sorry

I’m also using different types of clay – I’ll keep everyone updated on how that goes lol. This picture is a pair of dragon scale earrings that I wasn’t happy with but decided to fill in with resin, I SWEAR they look better in person lol. To be honest, I am a but of a cute obsessive – not that you would know by my everyday look. I think it has something to do with growing up around an older brother and uncles and boy cousins – so that tomboy part came out and sort of stuck. Had very few times to be a girly girl. Now that I’m older I have moments. I admit I really enjoy the making of these things – I’m gonna start with fake sweets and move on from there.

Besides that things are going as they should…maybe lol

Stay classy you guys.

FallOut 76 and Life Things

So I haven’t written in a while – we all know why…its called life. I think since the passing of my Grandmother in August I have been reevaluating a lot of things going on and getting things focused. The way I see it is I’m gonna live till 97 (which is how old she was when she passed away) I might as well live more the way I want to.

One thing that has been happening is that I want to move. Not out of state or anything like that but to a different apartment in the building I am currently in. I had asked about it a few weeks ago and hadn’t heard anything till yesterday. The landlord said they would be interested in letting me move into the smaller apartment. I’m excited about it – they won’t raise my rent but they will include electricity and heat – PLUS a washing machine and dryer. After crunching the numbers it actual does save me some in the long run. So that’s a positive for sure.

I’m hoping to get a looks see of the space again soon so I can make my measurements and figure out how to divide it out better. I already know i’m gonna have to divide it a bit more but if nothing i’m good at planning. So that’s what the home base situation looks like as of right now.

NOW I have been playing FallOut 76 as well – I was feeling burnt out from Elder Scrolls Online and Guild Wars 2 so I figured I’d jump back into the country life – LOL.

I logged in and of course redid the look of my character – but the most exciting bit for me is I found a cool head piece that I have lusted after for a while – No it’s not the Bunny head (I’m keeping an eye out for that one still it is actually the Witch one……here is a pic

 

I know she looks so bad ass doesn’t she ^_^. I’m still not 100% with the build just yet but i’m working on it a bit at a time. The game has enough variety to keep me coming back when i feel the sword and board burn out coming. The no human NPC’s thing is ok as well, for now. While playing last night I was at a train station when another human person showed up out of nowhere, It was funny to finally see another person (I’m not gonna lie they startled me). I waved like a good neighbor and then continued on with the random things I was doing.

There are events going on as well – apparently i missed the Meat Week (not a surprise really). I did get some of the free stuff from it though so that was good. There will be a Halloween event, it starts October 29th till November 5th and it’s called Mischief Night.

I have no idea what is gonna happen, but i’m stoked anyways.

Whelp that’s all for right now, I do have a couple of other things in the works but thats for another post – LATER GATERS.

My End Of An Era

So as everyone knows I am a HUGH Elder Scrolls Online fan and have been playing it since beta. It is a world one can get lost in and discover new things. Recently (the past 2 months or so now) I have been playing it less and less. I log in every couple of days to do my crafting writes and honestly that’s about all I do. I bounce mail off other players so it won’t be deleted. But the lure of it has become less and less. With the ESO plus I am able to have a lot of perks that none sub players don’t have. Access to content etc. etc. so last night I let my sub laps. That’s right I didn’t pay for this month and I’m not sure how I feel about it to be honest.

I want to say I was upset but to be factual I really wasn’t – I have gone back to Guild Wars 2 and I don’t want to say I’m loving it but I’m doing the things. There are so many things I’m still figuring out and discovering about the game. I’m unlocking content and it has been interesting to say the least. In some ways it is a grind but the option to sort of just go out and do stuff or follow the main quest line is a seller for me. Don’t get me wrong Elder Scrolls is the same but in a different way. It might have to do with the fact that my gaming buddy is also playing the game and he dragged me back into it. (GW2 that is). He of course has so much more time to dedicate to it then I do.

Maybe I’m just getting old and loosing interest in a lot of things. I still have the Fall Out Games which I dabble in every once i a while but it’s not so much fun to play those games alone you know? I might have to figure it out as I go like I usually do. But if you see me running around either world – just give a quick wave and let an old lady know she’s still noticed ^_^

Yeah Not Even Close

So it’s the 29th as two more months till the end of Blaugust – and I failed. Mainly because of my Grandmother passing away, I’ve been feeling like nothing and everything. I spent a good amount of time just working and vegging out.

The last few days I have been a lot more active I think. I’m looking to make some life changes which is always good. So last night I went to Walmart to buy some school supplies for the boy; It was a decent time. I decided to buy a new shower curtain and felt like an adult. I know it sounds weird to equate a shower curtain with adulting but it felt good (I also got a tooth brush holder).

I’ve been spending a LOT of time writing – it’s like this flood gate has opened and I’m jumping on it. I’m determined to become the person I WANT to be.

REALLY?

I was sort of stuck on what to title this post and I have to say REALLY? sums it up. Due to the family things i’ve been dealing with and the 100% death of my tablet I have rotated my entertainment life. I have am Amazon kindle fire 7 from like 2014. It has the amazing packing tape screen (dropped once to much) – BUT I can still use it to read books and play really simple games.

So something I had been meaning to do and putting off, was to get through my Amazon reading list. One of the things I kinda like about Amazon is you can self publish – you get a decent percentage off book sales – even if the book is listed as free you get something. The down side is you kinda start collecting free books after a while lol.

A few years back I started downloading free books – why not right? It was nice to have the classics and cook books. They also have free comics which is always a plus as far as i’m concerned. I read a bunch of new things too, and on very rare occasions I actually would buy the next book in the series. (That’s how you know I like it if i pay for it). As of today looking at my list I own 672 books; I have read about 100 of them. Some of them have been really good – and others not so much. I try and remember to leave a review for each one I finish, unless i really didn’t like it. You know the saying – you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say it at all.

Most of the stories are LitRPG, Fantasy, Space Opera, Alternate History, Supernatural,  etc, etc… the reason I read these the most is because it is also the genre I write in. I am also very, very guilty of reading “trashy” books. We called them bodice rippers when I was a kid. That book that was on the VERY top shelf of the book case in your house. They cost something like $1….the ones with Fabio on the cover. You know the ones. *wink,wink*

So now they are called Erotic “insert your own thing here”, no pun intended. They have like 3 covers – the cheerful perky one, the dark one and the ones with the “perfect” body image on the cover. And they all kinda read the same as well:

Poor girl meets rich guy who whisks her away to a dream life all while spanking her.

Sad unloved girl meets alpha “insert wereanimal”

Woman get seduced by boss and have kinky office fling

EVERYONE confuses sex with love

100 shades of NOPE

Yes, yes I know it’s fantasy and i’m not gonna lie these writers sell a good amount of book – but COME ONNNNN. So I went in search of variety. Mainly because of something I’ve been working on. Let me tell you it was NOT much better.

Main character is a big woman – instantly she is frumpy

Main character is a minority – instantly thug boyfriend, 5 baby daddies, drug addict, falls for drug dealer.

This weird mafia lover thing that I can’t even explain.

Main character gay – I can’t even describe the types of wrong.

Why is this an issue for me – if I don’t like it then don’t read it. YEAH I hear you..100% BUT I am reading it to know exactly what NOT to do.  I think I sometimes feel bad because I can SEE the story, you know? Like I understand where they were trying to go but getting there was a lot. Or the ending just sort of fizzled out – like they just wanted to be done with it and i get that. I can be the same way when writing things. One shot stories – like JUST this scene and that’s it. Which is valid and you CAN do that you just gotta know THAT’S what you’re doing.

It also gives me hope, hope that so many writers are trying to live their dreams. That someone out there is writing every single fantasy they have ever had and publishing it. That stuff that would IN NO WAY actually be published but is getting out there and hopefully inspiring others to write.

OK thats my rant and i’m done…LOVE YOUR FACES

 

 

 

 

How to ask?

I’m writing this because of something that has happened. So I have a Samsung tablet that is a “new to me” type situation. I HATED it for a long time. It doesn’t get wifi in my house in some spots. It takes forever to charge, but it was free so I didn’t complain about it. It was already 5 years old when I got it and that was 3 years ago.

Last night it flickered, flickered and died. It charged 100%, it just doesn’t work any more. That makes me sad as I had some things on there I wanted to keep. Thank goodness my pictures are in the cloud, So I don’t have to worry about that.

I was talking to a friend about it and they told me I should just buy a new one. I’m like UH I don’t have a budget for that. I am the main bread winner in my family. My son will be starting back to school soon so everything not in bills and rent is held for back to school supplies and clothing.

I do own a Fire tablet (more then 5 years old) – the screen is cracked so it has packing tape on it. I also have an ipad that is about 8 years old (also has the packing tape screen). Both were new to me items handed down from my sister. So I mean ok. I have a desk top at home – something I am crazy proud of as I built it from scratch about 4 years ago. It’s still working like a charm.

BUT the tablet I need for day to day things. Communication, emails, reading, writing, note taking, photo editing. Just tons of things. Now I have been doing some thinking about it – so unless someone wants to GIVE me an old device they don’t use any more. ‘m gonna have to figure something out.

A suggestion a co-worker gave was maybe start a donation thing. So I do have that on my Twitch page so I can get bits – but I don’t have like a donation page. It started me to thinking…WHY would anyone WANT to donate money to me? I mean my blogging is ok. My Twitch game play is ok. What other services could I provide? I do have stories I write and jewelry pieces I make. Which could be potential for a bit of extra money.

I don’t want to be one of those people that complains a lot about things. My financial situation is MY situation. There are people out there who have medical bills they need to pay, medications they need to buy, food they need to provide. I get it and it sometimes makes me feel guilty that I WANT things.

I have to say yes, I am thankful – I don’t own a car as everything is in walking distance to where I live. I don’t have credit card debt for the reason that I DON’T use the card for anything I can’t pay off right then and there. I rent and pay utilities – as is life sometimes. I pay for my own health insurance and it’s high, but in the long run has been a good investment. Health wise I take precautions for both my son and I to keep us in fairly decent health. I don’t have big overhead, I am frugal for sure. Thinking about this is actually making me sad. I realize I actually don’t do the luxury living things. I haven’t taken a day off from work in 15 years. I haven’t bought new clothing for myself in like 6 years. I don’t even own a cellphone and haven’t for almost 9 years. Building the computer was the biggest luxury item I bought 3 years ago. Tax returns are used for bills, groceries and new things for my growing son (cause kids grow). Which is not anyone’s fault; I made the choice to have kids so I have to provide.

Anyway – I’m going off on a tangent….so I made a link to my PayPal.  

I’m not sure how well it’s gonna go, but I figured I would give it a try…I think I’m gonna set a goal of $500. That way I could get the tablet, case, maybe pen (?)…well enough of my ramble. you all have a GREAT day.

I got the giggles

ok let me explain – so it’s Blaughast and as always i’m pretty excited to be doing the things. Although I’m PRETTY sure I’m gonna not do all of them and that’s ok. I will admit one of the really great things I love is that I get to find so many blogs to read. There are a lot of really talented people out there and they can create content like it was nothing (although I’m sure to them its something). Writing isn’t easy it takes a LOT of work and like any skill should be used as often as one can in order to stay sharp.

So today was my Check My Email Its Been A Couple Of Days day. I’m gonna be a hundred with you guys and let you know if I can get my inbox to like 400 I’m happy. (current count is 1,422 – DON’T JUDGE ME well not for that at least). So it shows a lot of activity on peoples blogs that I follow. Now I am a firm believer in supporting things people I like are passionate about. Meaning good positive things of course. If you’re a racist or a bigot or something along those lines I have to draw the line. I don’t have time for that energy.

As i’m going through I start reading peoples posts, liking some, commenting on others. It might not create a dialog, but sometimes it will bring a small sprinkle of happiness. I have a weird type of social anxiety. I have a part of me that is out going within reason but I can also have these panic attacks. It’s something I live with and it has gotten a lot better over the years. The few people I call friend understand – there will be times I will talk to you every day and others where it could likely be months between conversations. Its nothing personal. ANYWAY so the first blog I get to is this one the persons name is Syp and I don’t know them. Don’t think I’ve ever spoken to them. It’s a new blog i’m following thanks to Blagaust. In one of his posts he lists people who are doing the things. Getting to the list I saw my name – MY NAME AND MY BLOG NAME…..I was so happy. I know I blushed and had a silly grin on my face.

Why am I sharing this? Easy, sometimes what we do is seen by the Universe. Sometimes that project that you pour your heart into get recognized as being a thing. As being real. Life can be frustrating and sad at time – but guess what? Someone see’s you and that can be a lot. A small zing in a land of dull. So I’m gonna try and make sure not only that this thing keeps going but that I drop a line to others and let them know we see you and it is good.

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