I will Be Judged & Found Lacking

(This is a post from a blog I don’t use anymore)

So since I’ve fallen behind on my Blaugust thing I am really not surprised at this point to tell the truth.

Sure I’m not going to win any prizes or awards but I can get it out of my head and put it into yours. So it’s a win – win as far as I can tell.

Since the biggest problem I seem to have is what to write about I figured whatever it’ll come to me eventually. So I simply started my day as usual – which is spending a bit of time on Google+.

So while glancing through things I came upon a post about a list of video games (which is no surprise as most of the things I follow on Google+ are about video games. And hair…and DIY stuff…anyway.)

It lead me to a comic strip called Manly Guys Doing Manly Things (look it up because it’s amazing).

Which lead me to a strip with Pyramid Head in it.


If you don’t know who Pyramid Head is – I’m sorry. But here is a frame of reference:

“Pyramid Head, also known as “Red Pyramid Thing”, [1] “Red Pyramid”, or “Bogeyman”, and Sankaku Atama (三角頭?) in Japan,[2] is a fictional character from the Silent Hill series of survival horror video games published by Konami.

Introduced in the 2001 installment Silent Hill 2, he is the antagonist and he stalks James Sunderland, the primary player character, who comes to the town of Silent Hill after receiving a letter from his deceased wife, Mary.
The Silent Hill series, particularly the second installment, frequently utilizes psychology and symbolism: Pyramid Head represents James’ wish to be punished for Mary’s death. Masahiro Ito, the designer of Silent Hill 2’s monsters, created him because he wanted “a monster with a hidden face”. [3]

Known for his large triangular head, Pyramid Head lacks a voice, and his appearance stems from the town’s past as a place of execution” 
(Thank you Wikipedia)

Now I didn’t actually play the Silent Hill games and was only introduced to the character through the Silent Hill Movies – which were ok. I mean I could watch them over and over – but it’s one of those movies where your either 100% sure what’s going on after like 20 minutes or your baffled for the whole thing. I fell under the I’m not sure what’s going on here, but shit is fucked up for real. 

I have a weird way of watching movies – either I respond to it or I don’t. I get sucked in or just sort of think of a better way something could be done. It’s a very odd mindset, but I’ve been this way my whole life so maybe it’s normal. But, maybe you know how it is. You’re going along your merry way – enjoying a movie when all of a sudden a character comes out of nowhere and you are struck dumb. Your whole life is changed in some way after seeing this one character – you are now emotionally and physically invested in them.
So here comes this character and even though he was doing the most horrible of things Am I in love? He was perfect in all his evil imperfections. Pyramid Head was the ULTRA FUCKING ALPHA MALE to me. He was a GOD as far as I was concerned. Everything about him screamed pain and suffering and death and I kind of really liked that about him. He carried/dragged this massive sword/knife and I loved that too (I have always liked sharp objects). I know if I ever saw him in real life I would drop to my knees and be awed (and dead).

Now I don’t consider myself an evil person – I am actually pretty nice. But I became obsessed with this character. I watched the movies dozens of times – fast-forwarding to all the clips of him. It was I guess kind of creepy. I wrote pretty bad fan fiction about him, charting a large chunk of a very private mind space with him. 


This obsession lasted ohhh I don’t know about 6 years or so. I’m better with it now, but I still have images that come up every once in a while. Especially when I see pictures of him online. Just wow.

I am a realist about a lot of things that I think about and have come to terms with certain parts of my personality. There are some things I like and don’t like. Some of these would be considered odd – but hey it’s me.
I LOVE horror movies – gory bloody guts movies (even if they do give me panic attacks sometimes).I love B movies form the 80’s and 90’s. So the fact that I like this character wasn’t that big of a surprise. I have a penchant for the macabre as well. I like weird shit – I mean I read the Marquis de Sade complete works at 15 (and am still pissed that a family member throwing it away calling it garbage – which it wasn’t). That tells you everything and nothing about me at the same time.

 Yeah it sounds weird and freaky – in a way it is and that’s ok.

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